This is a repost of a blog written in September 2020

I just love how loved I feel… Love is so powerful…

 

If you look at my life deeply, you will see that I have lost so much, my parents, my children, my grandchildren, my sister and her family.  I have no partner, I am financially ruined (for the moment).   I am totally alone, homeless and broke…  

 

This week has been tough, I never imagined in my whole life that at the age of 50, this would be happening to me… ’Society’ says I should be Married, spending time with my parents, my children, my grandchildren.  Financially secure.  Travelling and benefiting from all my hard work up until this point.

 

When I say I have lost my family, I don’t mean they have died, I mean they don’t talk to me. They hate me, they don’t want anything to do with me.  They feel I have let them down, walked away from them and as far as they are concerned I am dead. 😞 😞 

 

The last 12 months have been really hard for me, well the last 2 years have been extremely hard, but during the last 12 months, I have had to grieve the loss of my family.  

 

But during this time, I have also formed a relationship with God.  I have ‘known’ and ‘believed’ in God my whole life, but it has only been the last 12 months that I have built a relationship with him.  And it is that relationship that is getting me through one of the worst times of my life.

 

And also during this time, God shows me time and time again that I am loved, really loved.  Loved by so many people that sometimes I am just overwhelmed by the fact that these wonderful amazing people could love me and that so many people could love me.

 

In 2016 I came to Cairns for a holiday, and 8 weeks later I was living here.  The story of how that happened is for another blog 🙂 But from the moment I moved here I began to lose my family and gain people who were willing to love me for who I am.  God kept putting people in my life.  

 

I mean, when I moved here I already had some special friends from my ‘previous’ life, ones that will always love and support me, but He kept giving me more and more people.  People who loved and supported me on a business level and people who loved and supported me on an emotional level, people who loved and supported me on a spiritual level and then the special ones who covered all three areas 🙂 

 

Today I want to tell you about three special ones.  I mean I have many special ones in my life, but knowing these three will help you understand why I feel so loved. 

 

 

There is my great friend Les, I met him through a business meeting, we connected and grew our friendship on a personal level.  We got to know each other and he knew of my faith and also of what I was going through with my family.  

 

About 18 months ago at the beginning of my ‘great depression’ he came to me and told me that the Bible says to cast the burden upon Jehovah and he shall sustain thee.  I’m like ‘What? what did you just say?’ and he went on to explain to me that he was a Jehovah’s Witness and that he felt he needed to tell me that I needed to turn to God for help.

 

This was a turning point for me.  God had sent Les to me, to help me return to God’s arms, so I could be loved and supported during this dark time. 

 

This is a copy of my conversation with him the following day via messenger. 🙂 

 

Me: Ok… I loved our conversation yesterday and I’ve been thinking about it so much overnight…. Can you please tell me exactly what Jehovah said again? I’ve heard it a million times but it is bugging me that you said it so perfectly and I connected with it, but I can’t remember the exact wording… and I know the wording isn’t important but it’s stressing me 😞 😞 😞 😞 

 

Les: Psalm 55:22 Throw your burden on Jehovah, and he will sustain you.  Never will he allow the righteous one to fall.  The entire 55th Psalm is quite inspirational.

 

Me: Awesome… thank you

 

Les: Your Welcome

 

Me: Far out… far out… far out… I just read it… Once again I am blown away at how God presents himself in my life… Time and time again he shows up… 

 

Over the coming weeks, we talked heaps about God(Jehovah) and my faith, Les’s faith etc etc.  Les encouraged me to also reach out to Jason a mutual friend of ours.  Jason is the Pastor of the Pentecostal Church that I now go to. 🙂 

 

Les has been there for me during all this time, he gets ‘messages’ to contact me when I really need to be pulled through things.  I often get phone calls from him with ‘Are you ok? I was ’told’ to ring you.  What’s going on?’ It ALWAYS blows me away that this happens, that I am never alone in my depression, and that God sends him or someone else to love and support me when I need it the most.

 

 

During the time I have known Les, I also got to know his gorgeous amazing wife Christine.  Christine is my, oh I don’t know how to describe this amazing woman,  she is just there for me.  Silently there, waiting to love and support me as I need it.  She is amazing, truly truly amazing.  

 

One day I was feeling particularly lower than normal and she sent me a message..

 

Christine: And a scripture for the day 1 John 4:8… Have a think about it and let me know…

 

Me: ‘Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”… OK so that is awesome and amazing… I read it and went ‘wow’… that so filled my heart… that is going to sit with me for a really long time… thank you xxx

 

Then she sent me this gorgeous GIF…

 

Christine: Imagine the blue monster is Jehovah, and you are the little one going through this… He will protect you and will always be there for you…

 

Me: OMG I so so so so so so so so so love this…

 

This woman is the most amazing, loving kind, gorgeous woman who ever walked this world.  I can not tell you how many times she has just ‘been there’ and tells me what I need to hear 🙂 

 

 

Then there is Pastor Jason, I am going to write a whole blog on him soon, but I will tell you about him here as well 🙂 

 

I met Pastor Jason at a business meeting.  Got to know him on a business level and eventually over time opened up to him more and more about my walk with God for my whole life.  

 

I would tell him about Riley being saved by God (Read my blog – How God Saved My Boy), God sending Nate (my grandson) to me, God helping me with my son Rhys and many many other times that God has appeared in my life.  

 

I poured everything out to Pastor Jason.  He would listen and talk to me and there would never be any judgement. I often wondered what he was truly thinking about everything that I would sprout to him.  🙂 

 

Over time Pastor Jason became a great friend, as great of a friend as Les and Christine.  So when Les told me to reach out to Jason, I blindly did so, taking it as a sign that God had sent Les to tell me.  

 

I had a coffee with Jason and poured my heart out, I told him about my depression, about my heartache and the loss of my family, everything.  He told me that he knew that I had a strong faith, but sometimes it was better to worship God as part of a community of worshipers, that it would help strengthen my faith and support me in my journey.

 

So after a lot of thought, and ’talks’ to God, I took up Pastor Jason’s offer to come to church for 4 weeks straight and see how I felt.  Well 12 months later, I am getting Baptised and do not miss a week of Church.  It feels so ‘right’ being there, but that is for another blog as well 🙂 

 

Over the last 12 months, the love and support of Pastor Jason and his wife Janie has been huge.  I spent 30 weeks with them every Wednesday night ‘learning the basics’… Pastor would teach me something, and if I didn’t understand it he would be really patient with me, if I still didn’t understand it I would go to Les and ask him to help me understand it.

 

Pastor has been kind, loving, caring, PATIENT and just the biggest support of me and my painful journey through my ‘great depression’.  He is truly someone that God sent to me to help me.

 

Every time I have a meltdown he is there to talk me through it… he has supported me in my growth towards understanding the Bible and my growth in my relationship with God… 

 

God sent him to be my mentor, my friend, my Pastor, my teacher…

 

I am so grateful that Pastor Jason has come into my life ☺️☺️

 

 

So although on the surface my life is in ruin, the love and support of God and of these three amazing people make things so much better… If I didn’t have them, if God hadn’t sent them to me, my life would be so much worse… 

 

Find your relationship with God. Be open to God sending you people who you need and know that all will be ok, no matter what you are going through… ❤️❤️❤️